ChinuchAtHome

Pesach

Worth the Struggle

By Rabbi Label Lam

“What is this work to you!” (Wicked Son- as portrayed in the Haggada of Pesach)

Let us stalk the mind of the “wicked son”. From where does his attitude of utter contempt for things Jewish spring?

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ztl. is oft quoted as having said that a certain common phrase played a great role in undermining the Yiddishket of many American Jews. What was that phrase?

So many at the early part 20th century were faced with the terrible challenge of having to violate Shabbos to retain employment or risk seeking a new job again and again. Unfortunately some who could not withstand the test lost Shabbos in favor of regular employment. Many a good Jew, however, at great personal expense held on to the Holy Shabbos with a noble ferocity, and were forced to seek out new jobs at the beginning of each week. Here comes the phrase, accompanied by a sigh, “It’s hard to be a Jew!” Reb Moshe decried the damage done by that expression. Children who saw and felt the sting of their parent’s financial difficulties were left with an impression that the sacrifice was not worth while. Judaism came to be perceived as the villain that delivers little and demands much. The descendants of so many, seduced by the glitter of materialism, moved away from the centers of Jewish life and were lost forever to the Shabbos their parents sacrificed so much to preserve. A great deal of the blame can be traced to the attitude engendered by the phrase, “It’s hard to be a Jew!” Reb Moshe would counter, “On the contrary, it’s wonderful to be a Jew!”

I recently heard a story about a family whose breadwinner was fired every Erev Shabbos. Before leaving the premises of his former employment he would request from the boss a pink slip indicating his termination. Over time the father filled up a drawer with those pink papers.

On the eve of Sukkos he told his children what those pink papers meant and requested that they string them together for a giant Sukkah decoration. He communicated to them that being fired for keeping Shabbos was a flag of glory to be proudly displayed in the Sukkah. That family today, I am told, has hundreds of descendants keeping Shabbos and building Sukkahs decorated with pleasant memories of honorable and courageous parents.

King David wrote in Tehillim (29:11) “I was young and now I am old and I never saw a Tzadik abandoned and his children searching for bread.” Perhaps we can understand what King David says in the following way although it may not be the simple meaning of the verse. In all my days and years on the planet, I never observed that a Tzadik- a truly righteous individual who seemed to be abandoned because of the lack of steady or sufficient livelihood and that his children became seekers of bread- materialism, due to an insidious cynicism. Rather, as chronicled in Chronicles, “Joyful is the heart those that seek HASHEM!” Simcha Zissel ztl., the Alter from Kelm would comment that usually a person is not satisfied until he finds the thing he is seeking. When shopping for a house or any item, frustration is the impasse of desire. However, when looking for HASHEM, there is joy for the heart engaged in the search itself.

The attitudes with which we endure, survive, or enjoy, the demands of Pesach preparation can be as critical to the outcome of Pesach as the encounter with our children at the Seder. The “wicked son” sees only the price and not the merchandise. What can a parent do except happily highlight the ultimate value of the matter, so each child will carry on as generations have until now, with great sacrifice, looking forward to that big Afikomen prize at the end of the Seder and of history, and for sure it will have been worth the struggle.

Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Label Lam and Torah.org.